When we arrived in Australia, the passport control officer took my papers, looked me up and down over the top of her spectacles, and sternly back at the forms. She straightened her back like someone weary from a long day’s work, yawned and lazily cracked her bulbous knuckles. A broad grin swept across her face […]

Read more "Memories, myths and dreams"

Walking along from Coogee Beach to Bondi – as one does – I overheard a couple talking about Australian history. ‘You know, that guy?’ ‘What, Captain Cook?’ ‘Yeah, him. You know, he didn’t die a natural death. He was killed by the Bee Gees.’ Now blow me down with a feather. I knew of their […]

Read more "My Pal Joey"

Once upon a time, long ago, the people of the harbour – the Eora – were led by the noble Barangaroo. They lived off the sea – fish in abundance. Barangaroo was a fearsome and respected leader, a superb sailor and an excellent fisher. Barangaroo’s tribe, the Cameragal, were the most influential and they controlled […]

Read more "Reservations"

Got back from the Outback, suitably grubby. Threw all the clothes in the wash. Had a shower. Well, more than a shower. A ‘southerly buster’ showed up: the heat builds, clouds form, they explode. There were state warnings not to go out. The sky was black at 5pm, with only the lightning to brighten things […]

Read more "A night on the tiles"

Pittwater, a mere 40 miles north of the city, is an off track place, deep in a huge National Park, and only accessible by boat. It probably doesn’t rank as prime bush, but to me it feels pretty remote. On a quiet stretch near the Hawkesbury River, where artists and poets escape the rat race […]

Read more "Man Goez Wild"

There’s this myth of Australians as backwoodsmen, people who forage for grubs in the outback, sleeping under the stars with nothing but a can of beer, some cool brand of cigarettes and a tin of wallaby stew. They are rugged, muscled, have deep furrows on their faces, their skin has become wizened, and they are […]

Read more "Our little friend (life size…)"

OK so I’m 62. There we are. Move on. Our lovely landlady G said I don’t look a day over 50. Is she about to put the rent up, perchance? To celebrate, it rained all the night before, all day, and now again. There’s a goddamn hole in our kitchen ceiling where the upstairs balcony […]

Read more "The river flows… And the rain it never ceaseth"

A good guitar is a beautiful thing. A great guitar is floating in heaven with the angels singing. Every musician cares about the instrument. Bass players care about the lacquer on the body that determines the resonance of the sound, the saxophonist about his mouthpiece (oi vey, ebonite or metal?) – and acoustic guitarists, well, […]

Read more "This machine kills…."

I didn’t much like Hong Kong the last time I came. I suppose that’s because I was on one of those endless cycles of Airport – Office – Hotel that seemed to define my working life. But also I seem to have a particular aversion to Colonies and the like. Jersey, Bermuda, Hong Kong all […]

Read more "All is forgiven, well nearly all…"

I suppose I’ll miss Old Blighty. The crisp January air, the home fire dancing, the final of University Challenge. But then I can do without the inevitable man-flu, my team tumbling down the league, the false spring days. Australia is one of those mysterious Other countries for me – not a hazy Oriental desert, full of tightly […]

Read more "Biggles Flies Undone"